When we lost her, it was a profound loss for Kiefer. Oddly, at the time, while his older brothers were inconsolable, weeping through gut-wrenching tears, Kiefer seemed peculiarly at peace.
"She's going to heaven" he would exclaim, a matter of factly. It was in the days and weeks that followed we noticed just how much of an effect it would have on Kiefer. He would cry himself to sleep some nights, wishing, that he could build a staircase to heaven to visit his dear friend.
We were all heartbroken and not ready to accept another dog into our lives. Kiefer would often ask when we would be getting our next dog. "There are no more dogs in this house" was usually the answer.
This past year, Kiefer started talking about the dog he was going to get when he was 10. I had to remind Kiefer that there were no more dogs happening in this house. We spent happy weekends and weeks babysitting friends dogs. While we were a dog-friendly house, we were not ready for full-time ownership. Babysitting seemed to be the perfect medium. Get your dog fix, and send them back home.
But it didn't seem to matter how many reminders we would give Kiefer, he held steady in his story.
"When I turn 10, and get my next golden retriever..."
It got to the point where if we were going somewhere where there were dogs, I would have Kiefer repeat after me, "We are not coming home with a dog". He would go through the motions, sometimes rolling his eyes at me. Not hours later there would be a "But when I'm 10 mom...I'm getting a golden retriever".
I would talk to Kiefer about how dogs were not an appropriate gift. They were a big commitment. And the whole family would have to come together to make the decision.
We had kept in touch with Zoë's breeder throughout the years and even reached out to her to thank her and inform her of Zoë's death. I follow her page on Facebook and had always kept an eye out for that 'perfect' fit. The breeder's page fell to the bottom of my news feed on Facebook as our focus moved away from having a dog.
Then two weeks ago I saw this post:
Paul and I had briefly talked about the "only" way we would consider another dog was if we got a therapy dog for Kiefer. We were on some waiting lists, but with the wait times being 3-5 years, and Kiefer aging out of the system, it seemed there was little hope of that happening.
The post was 4 hours old. There was no way that this dog was still available. How could it be? I put my phone down and continued to make breakfast. But I couldn't get it out of my head. So I reached out to Mary, the breeder. I told her about our Zoë and how much we loved her. I told her about our family and how it was so weird that we were just talking about a therapy dog and then her post shows up in the same month.
Mary wrote me back quickly and told me the dog was still available and to call her.
After a brief conversation, telling her about our Kiefer and the rest of the family she said, "Well I think you should meet her with Kiefer".
We made the drive down to Oshawa the next day with Kiefer, just going for a visit to a friend who had some golden retrievers. Again, I made Kiefer repeat, "We are not coming home with a dog".
Lida, the 5-year-old golden retriever, was running around the front lawn and greeted us as we pulled in the driveway. We proceeded to the living room in Mary's home and Lida and Kiefer rolled around together on the floor. Like they had been siblings forever.
We talked about the expectations of owning a dog, how we would train her to become Kiefer's therapy dog and how we saw her fitting into the family.
I'm not sure how it happened next. Maybe Mary could sense our hesitation. Changes in Kiefer's schedule can be devastating. Big changes even more so. He did nothing but talk about wanting a dog, but would it work? Would she fit into our family as well as Zoë did? I couldn't bare the thought of taking on a dog, finding out it didn't work and having to rehome her. The devastation that it would bring to Kiefer ... I just didn't know how to mitigate that risk.
As if reading my mind, Mary said, "well, what about a trial? You can take her for a few days and see how it all works out".
We decided that I would return the following Monday to pick up Lida and we would have her for 2-3 days to see how the addition to our family changed our routines and if it was going to be something manageable.
While I see Zoë in so many ways when I look at Lida, all she has to do is MOVE and I see her clearly as Lida. A nice happenstance is that Lida is Zoë's niece - they are of the same bloodline.
The next 3 days whizzed by so quickly - it took maybe a day or two to get used to having a dog in the house again, and then it was like nothing had ever changed. Kiefer fell right into loving Lida and I think, just as her Auntie had, she knew just what to do when Kiefer needed her.
We had just told Kiefer that we were babysitting Lida, while Mary was away on a trip. When the first 3 days went well, we kept her for another week and a half! (Mary's trip was extended)
This past Monday we brought Lida back to Mary so that she could be spayed. After her surgery, however, we will be picking Lida up and bringing her to her forever home - OUR HOME.
And suddenly, I remembered Kiefer's prediction: "When I'm 10 I'm going to have a golden retriever".
Maybe a little weird.
As we walked back to our car at Mary's on Sunday, we whispered to her that she could tell Kiefer the grand plan. That at this point, we felt comfortable with him knowing.
"Kiefer, I hear you have a 10th birthday coming up?" Mary asked, "How would you like to take care of Lida forever?"
Again, as per usual, Kiefer showed no real sign of emotion. A stale, "ya that would be good" is all we got.
However, the last few days have been full of questions and excitement for his new friend to come live with us forever.
"Mom!!! I'm so excited!! We get to keep Lida forever!!!"
Mom!!! I'm going to walk her, clean up her poop, teach her tricks."
"MOM!! Lida is my new sister!!!"
"Mom. Mom. Like for real mom. Is she joking we get to keep her forever??? Is she for real mom???"
And I have to admit, I'm pretty excited too. We all are. And one of Kiefer's birthday wishes is to go to Petsmart and buy Lida some new toys.
So, thus begins, Living with Lida.
💜
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